Running on fumes

When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half done;
When we reach the end of hoarded resources,
Our Father's full giving is only begun.

His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,
His power has no boundary known unto men;
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus,
He giveth,
and giveth,
and giveth again.

-Annie Johnson Flint

These words could not have been more powerful to me. Almost daily, since we've been in Columbia, I've felt the "strength has failed but the day is half done." Jay and I have cried out many times in all attitudes of frustration. We know our home, our final step, is 2.5 months away in a place that's 2 hours from us.

Our impatience is showing.

Because we are here such a short time, we've purposefully stayed away from commitments, made ourselves hermits because we want to be able to leave here without looking back. In Plano, we were so overwhelmed with the body of Christ in our life group from Legacy that I was rethinking moving away. I adore that group of people in Texas and how easily they befriended us. I don't want those same feelings here. I don't want to get to Lee's Summit and wish we were still in Columbia. (Isn't that such an awful attitude?) So, by this brilliant way of thinking, we've cut ourselves off from most society here. What happens, boys and girls, when you isolate yourself for any extended period of time?

The case of the Lonelies starts so small you don't even notice.

I can almost pinpoint when started. We hadn't even left Galveston yet. Some of our close friends were finishing residency and moving away. Next, We were about to have a baby, and that in itself brings a world of change. Suddenly, we were almost done, we were the ones saying goodbye. We had to plot our next steps on the map and we had to do it alone.

We moved to Plano, had another baby, and since my hands were full I could make a million excuses. Girls Night Out? Leading a small group? Hosting a play group? We just had a baby! The kids go to bed at 8:00! Our house is a WRECK! I kept a firm hold around my bubble, only doing things on my terms. As I write this I'm shocked at myself.

We've only become worse since the move to Columbia. Our time here is even shorter and our weekends have been in Kansas City looking for houses. I think we felt like we could just coast through the 6 months here, run on fumes. Now, 3.5 months into it, I would do it differently if I could start over.

We've reached the boiling point so many times. Since Ava has entered the "whining stage", Abbey continues to be a high-maintenance-mama's girl, Jay feels like a shadow at work, and I have been obsessed with finding a house - it doesn't take much to make this house of cards fall. The end is near though, our time here almost over. God is with us all the time, whatever city we're in. He has heard our cries, our prayers, and continues to provide. Over, and over, and over again.

Our offer was accepted on the house! We have the inspection Thursday, so if all is well, we will know for sure the next roof over our heads. Thank you again for the prayers. Please continue as the reality of buying a house, the packing and moving (again), and the final step that we've been waiting for is setting in.